January 2012
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When I Finally Have Sex
Some person: Now I know you're a virgin, so you probably don't know much about -
Me: No, I read FanFiction I got this.
#WHAT ARE YOU DOING? #WE'RE SUPPOSE TO KISS PASSIONATELY UNTIL I MELT IN YOUR ARMS #THEN YOU'LL LICK EVERY INCH OF MY GOD DAMN BODY #WHILE YOU FINGER THE FUCK OUT OF MY ORIFICE #AND YOU'LL KEEP PRESSING THAT PLEASURE SPOT UNTIL I SCREAM FOR MORE #THEN YOU'LL PUT YOUR FLESH IN ME AND WE'LL FEEL LIKE ONE BEING IN THE COSMO #YOU GO SLOWLY AND I'LL ASK FOR MORE #THEN I'LL MOAN #THEN WE'LL HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT KIND DINNER YOU WANT LATER #THEN WE BOTH CLIMAX #GOSH #DO IT RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT T ALL #Pull that thing out. I'm going to read more FanFiction to make me feel better.
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December 2011
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xxtoxfitxinxhisxarmsxx asked: Hey,hey,you know that's not always how it goes, I have gay and bie friends that are girls, and i think i'm strait lol
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Gay male: I'm gay.
Straight female: OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG.
Gay female: I'm gay.
Straight female: EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DON'T TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS.
And Let's Not Forget
Gay female: I'm gay.
Straight male: OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male: I'm gay
Straight male: HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
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toocooltobehipster:
lmaogtfo:
inyourfavor-always:
butthurtbandboys:
tangoingwithmango:
thisrealityhere:
gingerrlocks:
riflesandroadhouses:
joshfransexyy:
butthurtbandboys:
australia gets christmas before america
but american gets freedom before everyone
but canada gets maple syrup before everyone
but hungarians open gifts on the 24th
but freedom
kangaroos
...
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Never show someone that you care too much about...
cdeeezy:
The second you do that, everything you do from there tends to be less appreciated. It’s when they start taking advantage of you since they already have you wrapped around their finger. And they won’t chase after you anymore because they already caught you, causing them to walk away since they feel the need to find someone better.
Care for them, but never too much.
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Friend: Mulan isn't even a princess.
Me: Dishonor.
Dishonor on you.
Dishonor on your whole family.
DISHONOR ON YOUR COW.